Dear 15 year old me

M is D’s other name

It was my birthday last week and I was a bit more reflective in the days leading up to it. I thought of how far I have come and how much God has been good to me and how much more I had to learn, achieve and be. And so I remembered reading about this movement #Dear15Me and decided to do a post on it. Here is what I would say to 15 year old me if I could reach back in time.

Hey You,

While you struggle through teenagehood, I just thought you would like to know that awkwardness didn’t kill you. Life on this side is not perfect, but it is beautiful.

We are not yet living in the mansion you dreamt up, but we have plenty love in our home. We are not working the job we always wanted but it is a good place. We have travelled quite a bit though, just like we always wanted. That PhD is taking longer than we thought but don’t worry we’ll get round to starting it some day. We still haven’t written that novel, but we are constantly “working on it”. Maybe this will be the year.

You didn’t always make the right choices but God has been kind. Still, even in your choices, you learnt how to stand alone, and by standing alone you learnt that it is okay to be alone because that is how you find who you are. You built a wall to protect your heart. But it’s fine, you will learn that it is not weakness to be vulnerable, to take your bricks down and take a little hit now and then, to let in the ones who love us now. You took your emotional scars and broken bones and moved on until you found the people who accept us warts and all. With them you will learn that you are not for everyone and that is okay. You are learning that you are enough for the purpose to which you are called and that purpose is more important than the drowning opinions of others. You are learning to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose by following your heart because we all gon’ die anyway. (We’ll thank Steve Jobs for that).

You haven’t stopped learning, and I pray you never will. I hope that you never stop loving and finding new people to love, because that is the essence of who you are. I pray that you find the courage to chase all your dreams and I hope you will take each jump that life brings. And if you fall, I pray you always find the strength to get back up again and keep going. I pray that you spend all your hours and they all make sense.

I pray that when the moment when God calls us comes, we will be surrounded by our children and grandchildren and all the ones we love, having spent a long, fulfilled and happy life. And I pray that when He meets us at the Gate, He would say, “Well done, my child. Well done.”

Happy post-birthday to me!

You could call that my reflective face 🙂

What would you tell 15 year-old you if you could? Share with us in the comments.

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