On teaching kids not to share

I found this facebook post from Alanya Kolberg and I thought to share my thoughts because ​I am absolutely with her. 1000%. And I’ll tell you why after the cut.


One time I took my boys to the pool, we took our water toys along. Because there was no way to control them, the other kids pounced and made away with each one. It’s okay. Eventually they get bored besides we have enough to play with. So it’s time for us to go and then it’s a scramble to get all the toys back but one small brat decides he’s not giving them back because he is not ready. And in fact, he said quite rudely, they are his because he found them. Aswear I nearly jumped in the pool after he told me this and paddled away. (And no, he wasn’t joking).

What irked me the most was that that boy’s mother must have been watching our little exchange from the poolside and yet she did not call her child to order. See how stealing starts. Is it his own?

So yes, I am with this mother who supports her son’s decision not to share his toys. Share only if you want to my son. Not because some entitled brats pressured you to. If I can teach mine to respect boundaries, those parents can as well teach their own children restraint. That way we can all get along nice and civilized. It is not too early to show them that they do not get everything they want in life and they surely can’t get it by taking someone else’s one when the owner is obviously unwilling and uncomfortable to part with it. It is not the same as letting a child dictate to the parent what he or she will not eat or whatever. (Not in my house son!). As long as they are young and teachable, it is the same as teaching them autonomy over their bodies and controlling their personal (body) space. So they do not give in to the slightest pressure just so that they can be liked.

Boys currently not sharing. Except they want to.

Ps: M shares. In fact he is ready to give away his toys to his best friends if I don’t remind him that J likes to play with them too.

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