October is designated Pregnancy and infant loss awareness month.
I didn’t even know that that was a thing, put in place since 1988 by the Reagan administration in the US. And yet there is a conspiracy of silence around miscarriages and infant loss all over the world. I know many women who have suffered pregnancy loss or the loss of a child but I haven’t known how to support them. What to do? What to say? How to pray?
On the 5th of march, TV’s favorite mean girl, Claire Holt who plays Rebekah Mikaelson on the vampires diaries series took to Instagram to share her miscarriage story. She posted this picture with this caption. It broke the heart of several people who have followed her story since before she was married, and to see her come forward about this made several women come forward about their stories too. She was in New Orleans shooting the final episodes of the CW show ‘The Originals’ when this happened.
Her post made several women come forward to share their miscarriage stories. There was an outpouring of love for her from all over the world. Her fellow cast mates from the vampires diaries stood strongly with her during this painful period. Two days after she posted this on Instagram, encouraging women to speak up so that some woman somewhere could draw strength from her story.
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This is how I spent the last two days. I cannot tell you how much your beautiful words of support and love mean to me. The shared stories of loss. The women and men who opened up to show me that I wasn’t alone. I want to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. I’m so inspired by the goodness in people. The kindness. The world needs it now more than ever and I will do my best to pay that forward. Let’s always be honest and courageous. Don’t be afraid to speak up – I got your back. Thank you for having mine ❤️
But, there is a silver lining. She posted this a day ago
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My heart is bursting. I’m so happy to share with you that we are having a baby! It still doesn’t feel real. These past few months have been filled with excitement, anxiety, tears, joy, uncertainty but most of all gratitude. You never forget the deep pain of loss. It dims with time but it informs many of your experiences. Our loss earlier this year was the darkest moment of my life. Yet, it made me infinitely more thankful for the precious baby growing inside me today. I want to take a moment to acknowledge all those struggling with miscarriage, infertility or any of the difficulties that come with bringing new life into the world. I know that these announcements can hurt. I’ve felt it all. My heart is with you and I pray that our story gives you hope. Thank you all so much for your love and support – I can’t wait to share this journey with you.
I know not all stories end like this but I would like to spread hope to those still waiting for healing and a miracle.
I will featuring the stories of some remarkable women who have borne this grief with grace and are willing to share their stories so that more people will understand just what it feels like and would be a bit more sensitive to their suffering, even when they appear brave and strong for us.