Who Do We Do This For? 

​As we were leaving church on Sunday, we drove by a lady standing on the road looking pissed. The first thing I noticed about her though was her hair. (Yes, pretend as if you don’t check out other women in church.) Anyway, it was a lovely light brow, shoulder length weave and the wind blew it softly around her neck. And then I said aloud to no one in particular, “Who is vexing this fine girl with expensive hair?”

Hubs saw her of course but he just stared at me askance.


“How do you know it’s expensive?”

“Oh but you can tell. The sweep, the bounce, the texture – I can feel the softness with my eyes.”

By this time he is looking at me as if I’ve sprouted beans from my head.

“Do you know we men can’t tell the difference?” 

“Of course you can’t.” 

“Then why do you do it if we don’t even look at those things.” 

It was my turn to whip my head round and ask, “Who told you we are doing it for you?”

I think it was a comedian that said it better (I can’t remember which, they all sound alike after a while). He said women don’t do all these their nails, hair, wear high heels and do make up for men. If they did it, then the married ones would stop but you see they are the ones who even do it more than the single ladies. He said women do all these things to intimidate other women.

I tend to agree with him. It’s not everything that is meant for the attention of a man please.

Abi? I have married ni? Did I wear that nice dress to attract a man again? Hardly. I have never had a guy tell me, “I just love the shade of your lipstick.” Or has a guy told you that your eyeshadow really brings out your eyes just so he could take you home? Eh-ehn. 

So the aunty that bought that expensive weavon that was capturing my attention knew that it was going to oppress a fellow woman. It wasn’t about any prospective guy, it was about her, her preference and the social statement she was making by wearing a pricey hairpiece. A few men might appreciate her complete look, but it is women who understand the details.

So the next time Hubs heard me say out loud, “Such lovely hair.” He replied, “You’re right. You women really do these things for yourselves and each other.” I couldn’t agree more.

What do you think?

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